Helping American Heroes
Lawyers By State
Select Your State
Back
U.S. veterans are at a greater risk of developing certain types of cancer, including mesothelioma and lung cancer. A cancer diagnosis is devastating to family members — especially for children and teenagers. However, veterans can learn how to talk to children about their cancer diagnosis to help ease their worries.
U.S. veterans may be parents, grandparents, or other close relatives. Learning that they have cancer can bring a lot of uncertainty to their family members, including young children and teenagers.
Beyond children's love for relatives, they may hold veterans in especially high reverence and view them as stronger or braver than others because of their military service. Thus, knowing a loved one has mesothelioma or another type of cancer can be very stressful and traumatic for children.
Many cancer support organizations recommend telling kids the truth about this diagnosis, regardless of how difficult it may be. Doing so will allow children to process their emotions in a healthy way rather than keeping them bottled up.
“It’s hard to keep cancer a secret. Your kids probably already know something’s wrong, so it’s best that they hear it from you.” —Shelby Doyle, MD Anderson Social Work Counselor
The Dana-Farber Cancer Institute recommends telling children that a loved one has cancer soon after they are diagnosed. That way, children get the news immediately (and not secondhand).
Here are some tips on talking to a child about cancer:
There’s no easy way to tell children that a veteran they love has cancer. However, there are some steps you can take to prepare before sharing the news.
The Dana-Farber Cancer Institute recommends:
Additionally, the Dana-Farber Cancer Institute suggests not speaking to a child about the diagnosis if you aren’t ready to talk about it in general. You may also want another family member to join the discussion for support.
Depending on their age, you might need to take different approaches to talking with children about cancer.
Learn how to tailor your conversations below:
Speaking with children about a cancer diagnosis is very important. Kids may react differently to the news that a loved one has cancer.
After learning a loved one has cancer, kids may:
Cancer Treatment Centers of America (CTCA) also notes that children may suffer from physical symptoms like headaches, loss of appetite, and sleeplessness.
Regardless of how a child takes the news, remind them that they will always have love and support in their life. Further, if a child seems to be struggling, there are resources you can access to help them.
A prognosis is the expected outcome of a disease. A mesothelioma prognosis is often very poor since the cancer spreads rapidly without symptoms. Patients generally live between a few months and a few years.
When talking to children about prognosis:
Cancer can easily disrupt a child’s home life. Children can be overwhelmed by hospital stays for treatments and physical changes in a loved one. This is especially true if the U.S. veteran with cancer is the child’s primary caregiver.
Here are some tips from CTCA on maintaining a healthy home life for kids after a cancer diagnosis:
Which treatments a U.S. veteran will receive depends on their type of cancer, when they were diagnosed, and many other factors.
Further, cancer treatments have different goals depending on how far the cancer has spread. Some treatments help patients live longer, while others simply ease the pain.
Children may have questions about the mesothelioma treatments a loved one is getting, and it’s best to answer these in a way they can easily understand.
The side effects of cancer treatments can change how a person looks.
For example, a veteran with mesothelioma may lose their hair due to chemotherapy or radiation treatments.
Make sure that young children know these side effects aren’t contagious to ease any possible fears they might have.
Mesothelioma is a very aggressive cancer so it may or may not come back after treatment. If the cancer does return, make sure that children are informed and understand that more treatments can be used to help their loved one.
It may also be a good idea to reassure children that U.S. veterans with mesothelioma are in the best possible care. Civilian and military mesothelioma doctors are well-trained to treat this aggressive cancer.
Children can have a lot of anxiety and worries after a veteran they love has been diagnosed with cancer. This can cause them to suffer from behavioral or mood issues.
MD Anderson Cancer Center recommends getting help quickly if a child you love is having trouble dealing with a veteran’s cancer diagnosis.
Resources to support children include:
It’s important to know that U.S. veterans aren’t alone when fighting mesothelioma and other cancers. From military benefits to medical care, there are many ways veterans can support themselves — as well as the families and children they love — after a mesothelioma diagnosis.
Support options for veterans and families include:
Learn more about how these resources can help veterans and their families right now with a free veterans packet.
Contributing Author
Christopher Dryfoos is a journalist and member of the American Medical Writers Association (AMWA). As the grandson of the U.S. Navy’s first forensic pathologist, he aims to help veterans with mesothelioma access needed care.